No one ever knows the journey life will send you on. There are so many cliches in regards to said reference that one could probably make a game of it. "God works in mysterious ways", "Life is like a box of chocolates...", and so many others. I took the title of this post from a book by my favorite author, Nicholas Sparks. He writes all the tearjerker novels like "The Notebook", "A Walk to Remember", "Dear John", and so on. As most of you know, I somewhat live in a fantasy world. I want the love story, the romance, the knight in shinning armor....the new found love of your life running through the airport begging you not to go.
Well, why do I write this you ask?! I'm sitting in the airport in Lexington, Ky. where I just recently moved, awaiting my flight that will put me in Orlando where I will catch my connector flight to Dublin, Ireland wherein I will spend the next ten days. I've been planning this trip for about six months and I can't wait.
I wanted to take this trip because I was angry and decided that traveling would help me to get rid of the pain and become a starting over point in my life. After my dad died and my relationship ended, I had this strength and focus I didn't know I had. I've made grown up decisions, putting my best foot forward and started acting like an adult. I never wanted to grow up. I always thought that I could ride the curtails of irresponsibility and still be ok. Well, you can't. There comes a time in your life when you have to let go of the fairy tale. This doesn't mean that you can't revisit sometimes or turn it into a passion that can become fruitfull in the end. Just as long as you don't lose sight of the reality of it all.
Don't get me wrong. There will always be a little Peter Pan inside me. Looking for his shadow and following the second star to the right.
This trip is for my father. I have searched to find his pride in me. To be accepted by him. As an adult I knew I had it all along. As a child, it was something I could never attain. I feel him with at all times. Guiding me along a path we can both be proud of even when it isn't the path I would have chosen. I miss him so much. When we were children, I always complained because my turn on the back of the motorcycle wasn't as long as my brothers or sisters. Now I have him all to myself. I'm taking a trip with my dad.
This trip is also for me. A chance to let go of the hurt and pain. To find a new way to start this new chapter in my life and to put aside all the things that are holding me back. I'm not afraid anymore. I am full of life and questions and wonder. I want it all. And only I can hold myself back.
So don't be afraid of life. Don't let the unexplored become a crutch for your life. Use it. The way I see it, it's just a bend in the road.
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
Monday, June 2, 2014
Some Good Things Never Last
Earlier today I got some news that made me a little sad. One of my favorite places in Key West is closing down. Finnegans Wake is only one of many Irish pubs that dot the island but this one in particular holds special meaning to me. For over 20 years I have been visiting this establishment.
When I was in college in Miami, my frat brothers and I would come down for different occasions (fantasy Fest being the biggest) and it wouldnt be a trip without stopping in at Finnegans. It's the first time I tried a cider beer. And loved it. After graduation, began what would become years and years of traveling to Key West under the name of Outback Steakhouse. Once again, Fantasy Fest was the main reason, but it soon became one of several reasons to visit the keys. My friend Lara and I made several trips on our own because of men. Finnegans would always be one of our stops.
During the course of one of these visits with my friend Amy, it became the meeting point. We had gone down to help out at the Outback and work for a week (turned in to two) and met some people that would become lifelong friends. All I can say is Fred's apartment on the dock isn't an apartment anymore. Fred didn't marry Amy as I thought it would happen and we all still remember those long nights and jeep rides and things that would frighten fish. And it usually started at Finnegans. It where I developed my not-so-irish Irish accent (that I have been warned by a true Irishman to please not used for the 10 days I'm in Ireland or he's afraid I might not come back).
Later on, I moved to Key West and once again Finnegans was central to my life. It became one of my favorite eating places. The Mac and Cheese is just incredible. It has cauliflower and broccoli in it and Irish bacon. Amazing. When I got out of rehab, Chad asked me what I wanted for dinner and I was craving a burger from Finnegans. For St. Patty's day, they would clear all the tables out of the bar and block off the street on the side and it was THE place to be in Key West that wasn't on Duval Street. It was the place I also told my boss that I was stepping down from management and staying at Outback since I had become involved with an employee and didn't want to leave. Still the best decision I ever made.
Last month I went back to KW to visit and I'm very happy now that Erica and I went there for dinner one night and we had the Mac and Cheese and I got my burger. I'm sure there are many other things I just don't remember that happened there and I'm sure there will be many more good things to come to the place that takes over. It's just so sad.....some good things never last.
When I was in college in Miami, my frat brothers and I would come down for different occasions (fantasy Fest being the biggest) and it wouldnt be a trip without stopping in at Finnegans. It's the first time I tried a cider beer. And loved it. After graduation, began what would become years and years of traveling to Key West under the name of Outback Steakhouse. Once again, Fantasy Fest was the main reason, but it soon became one of several reasons to visit the keys. My friend Lara and I made several trips on our own because of men. Finnegans would always be one of our stops.
During the course of one of these visits with my friend Amy, it became the meeting point. We had gone down to help out at the Outback and work for a week (turned in to two) and met some people that would become lifelong friends. All I can say is Fred's apartment on the dock isn't an apartment anymore. Fred didn't marry Amy as I thought it would happen and we all still remember those long nights and jeep rides and things that would frighten fish. And it usually started at Finnegans. It where I developed my not-so-irish Irish accent (that I have been warned by a true Irishman to please not used for the 10 days I'm in Ireland or he's afraid I might not come back).
Later on, I moved to Key West and once again Finnegans was central to my life. It became one of my favorite eating places. The Mac and Cheese is just incredible. It has cauliflower and broccoli in it and Irish bacon. Amazing. When I got out of rehab, Chad asked me what I wanted for dinner and I was craving a burger from Finnegans. For St. Patty's day, they would clear all the tables out of the bar and block off the street on the side and it was THE place to be in Key West that wasn't on Duval Street. It was the place I also told my boss that I was stepping down from management and staying at Outback since I had become involved with an employee and didn't want to leave. Still the best decision I ever made.
Last month I went back to KW to visit and I'm very happy now that Erica and I went there for dinner one night and we had the Mac and Cheese and I got my burger. I'm sure there are many other things I just don't remember that happened there and I'm sure there will be many more good things to come to the place that takes over. It's just so sad.....some good things never last.
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Can Only Make Me Stronger
It's funny ya know. Life never turns out the way we thought it would. Lord knows mine has always been a roller coaster. Now that I'm a little older though I'm ready for it settle down. I'm ready to make roots and make something of my own. Don't get me wrong, I'm always up for an adventure and a little travel. Why, I'm going to Ireland in August and plan on an Alaskan cruise next year, but having a place to call my own is definetly on the to do list.
I say things never turn out the way we thought they would because life always takes us where we need to go. I'm a firm believer that God has a plan for us and that all will be revealed in His time. I also believe that people are brought into our lives for a reason. And when we have learned all we can from them, then it is time to continue moving forward. What does need to happen from this time together is that both people grow and take with them all that they've learned in order to be better than they were before. I'm proud to say I've had that experience and that because of you, I have changed for good. Don't get me wrong, anyone that knows me will tell you I'm a hopeless romantic. Hell, I just watched "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas" just to get to the part at the end when Dolly sings "I Will Always Love You" and Burt swoops in, carries her to the truck and drives off in the sunset. Maybe I have my hopes set to high, but I believe that there are people out there that believe as I do and we can all get our happy ending; our knight in shining armour; true loves kiss (the most powerful thing in the world, btw).
In October my dad passed. While I am still mourning his loss, it seems that I am charged with putting something else to rest too. In November of the same year, I ended my five year relationship with my partner. It's been tough dealing with both and since I've had to focus most of my attention on what is right in front of me, five months later I believe we have said our last goodbyes. What I don't understand is why it hurts more now, than it did then. I guess I left a little door open in my heart thinking there was a chance he was my prince on a horse. Guess not. I gave it my best shot. Now it's time to focus on me. I've got to deal with the loss of my father, finish my last semester of school, and try to make a home for me and my new puppy - Keeper. I have always had the philosophy that we should treat people the way we would like to be treated. I'm not saying I've held to it the way I should have, but it's something I've gotten back to and I'm trying my best to uphold even when it isn't in my best interest.
In May I celebrate my five years of sobriety (hence my trip to Ireland) and by the end of the year I'll have my AA and will have applied for the nursing program. I know it's a little later than I wanted but, like I said, life never turns out the way we thought it would. But I hold these thrings to be true: I am much stronger than I ever thought I was; I am capable of so much more than I ever imagined; and that which does not kill me, can only make me stronger.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
I Miss Him
I miss him. I know we haven't ever been that close, but I miss him. I tried to get here in time. Did things driving that I look back on now and say, "Wow....Chad would be yelling at me for that!" I don't feel like being funny and actually part of me doesn't even want to be here. But I have to be. My father died.
I don't know what to feel yet and I haven't broken down. But I know it's coming. Funny thing is I've known for a long time this was coming and you think you'd be prepared for it...but you're just not. All the things that needed to be said, and I know he knows, but I still wanted to say them. All the things that I wanted to apologize for...but he already forgave me for...but still needed to say. It's all here. I'll get my chance. I know. But still I miss him.
It isn't that we were really close either, but just the comfort of knowing he was there. He always had a way of switching our conversation over to the weather and I knew this was his polite way of saying, "Ok, time to go". Drove me crazy, but I laugh at it now. He taught me so many things, and I'm sorry that I wasn't the son he deserved when I was younger, but I know he was proud of the man I turned out to be. He did his best and I know that. But still...I will miss him.
I knew was gone. I just passed Atlanta and a song came on the radio and suddenly I was filled with joy and grief all at the same time and something inside me said, I was to late. Then calmness...and the realization that what was meant to be was meant to be and I still had to make this journey. For my family....for my father, my grandparents.....for all the Craft's and Brown's that have left this realm and entered the next. Mainly for me.
There isn't much to say or do...just being there. All I know is...I miss him.
I don't know what to feel yet and I haven't broken down. But I know it's coming. Funny thing is I've known for a long time this was coming and you think you'd be prepared for it...but you're just not. All the things that needed to be said, and I know he knows, but I still wanted to say them. All the things that I wanted to apologize for...but he already forgave me for...but still needed to say. It's all here. I'll get my chance. I know. But still I miss him.
It isn't that we were really close either, but just the comfort of knowing he was there. He always had a way of switching our conversation over to the weather and I knew this was his polite way of saying, "Ok, time to go". Drove me crazy, but I laugh at it now. He taught me so many things, and I'm sorry that I wasn't the son he deserved when I was younger, but I know he was proud of the man I turned out to be. He did his best and I know that. But still...I will miss him.
I knew was gone. I just passed Atlanta and a song came on the radio and suddenly I was filled with joy and grief all at the same time and something inside me said, I was to late. Then calmness...and the realization that what was meant to be was meant to be and I still had to make this journey. For my family....for my father, my grandparents.....for all the Craft's and Brown's that have left this realm and entered the next. Mainly for me.
There isn't much to say or do...just being there. All I know is...I miss him.
Sunday, September 8, 2013
The People In Our Lives
It's amazing you know. The people in our lives. Never do we know the reasons why we cross paths or come into contact with the people around us, but it happens. And trying to figure it out could drive you crazy. So just don't try. All we can do is take from them the things that they give us, give to them what we have to offer and hope that whatever the connection we have made in the little time we've had together, will make a difference in each others life.
I read somewhere once upon a time, that if someone makes eye contact with you, it's for a reason and you need to acknowledge them. Say hi. There is something that can be given to the other if we let down our barriers and open up to each other. Easier said than done in this day and age. But, there are times when I believe it and act on it. I've had great success with this and some really bad endings but it isn't about the outcome, it's about the journey. What have you learned from the experience and what can you pass on to the next person? It's actually a fun little game, but you have to stay open to the experience and not let yourself get closed off.
To people that are a part of your life everyday, it's a little different. We let so much of the past bog us down that we forget to live in the moment. These are the people we have to interact with everyday and if we can't be our self around them, then we really have a problem. It should be easier to interact with the people closest to us but most of the time they are the ones we shut down around. Why is this? My God, I love to have fun with people and act silly, so when I get upset or mad, everyone knows. But you know what, they leave me alone when I want to be alone and they pick me up when I need to be picked up. For the greater part of my life, I closed myself off and kept everything bottled up inside. It nearly drove me crazy. And there are times when I find myself falling into the same trap and I have an anxiety attack trying to figure out why. Just be yourself. If you wear your heart on your sleeve, then I'll pick it up and mend it when it breaks. And if you don't, I'll pinch your butt until I see a smile. Just relax and don't sweat the small stuff. And it's all small stuff.
It breaks my heart to see a friend hurting. I don't understand some of the stupid things that people do. Why intentionally hurt someone. If you make a mistake, admit it and move on. Stop dragging it through the mud. But to the person that got hurt. Wallow in it for a minute. Take it in and own it. Use it. Let it make you stronger. Learn from it. Put it up on the chalkboard as 1-0. And head back out a little wiser and better for it. It sucks!!! Yes it does, but in the end, you'll be better for it.
Personally, if there is something in your life you can learn from and use it to grow, go for it. The right thing is not always the easiest thing. The easiest thing isn't always the right thing. With a little temperance, love, compassion and understanding, you can mend. You will come through the fire better than when you went in and you may learn a thing or two about yourself in the process.
I love my life. I've learned a lot going through it. I have to remember to appreciate the ones that mean the most to me at times and to laugh in the face of adversity, but for the most part, I wouldn't trade it for the world. We are who we are due to the people in our lives.
I read somewhere once upon a time, that if someone makes eye contact with you, it's for a reason and you need to acknowledge them. Say hi. There is something that can be given to the other if we let down our barriers and open up to each other. Easier said than done in this day and age. But, there are times when I believe it and act on it. I've had great success with this and some really bad endings but it isn't about the outcome, it's about the journey. What have you learned from the experience and what can you pass on to the next person? It's actually a fun little game, but you have to stay open to the experience and not let yourself get closed off.
To people that are a part of your life everyday, it's a little different. We let so much of the past bog us down that we forget to live in the moment. These are the people we have to interact with everyday and if we can't be our self around them, then we really have a problem. It should be easier to interact with the people closest to us but most of the time they are the ones we shut down around. Why is this? My God, I love to have fun with people and act silly, so when I get upset or mad, everyone knows. But you know what, they leave me alone when I want to be alone and they pick me up when I need to be picked up. For the greater part of my life, I closed myself off and kept everything bottled up inside. It nearly drove me crazy. And there are times when I find myself falling into the same trap and I have an anxiety attack trying to figure out why. Just be yourself. If you wear your heart on your sleeve, then I'll pick it up and mend it when it breaks. And if you don't, I'll pinch your butt until I see a smile. Just relax and don't sweat the small stuff. And it's all small stuff.
It breaks my heart to see a friend hurting. I don't understand some of the stupid things that people do. Why intentionally hurt someone. If you make a mistake, admit it and move on. Stop dragging it through the mud. But to the person that got hurt. Wallow in it for a minute. Take it in and own it. Use it. Let it make you stronger. Learn from it. Put it up on the chalkboard as 1-0. And head back out a little wiser and better for it. It sucks!!! Yes it does, but in the end, you'll be better for it.
Personally, if there is something in your life you can learn from and use it to grow, go for it. The right thing is not always the easiest thing. The easiest thing isn't always the right thing. With a little temperance, love, compassion and understanding, you can mend. You will come through the fire better than when you went in and you may learn a thing or two about yourself in the process.
I love my life. I've learned a lot going through it. I have to remember to appreciate the ones that mean the most to me at times and to laugh in the face of adversity, but for the most part, I wouldn't trade it for the world. We are who we are due to the people in our lives.
Monday, June 10, 2013
Because I Knew You, I've Been Changed Forever
I drove to Jacksonville today for a very somberly sad occasion. My friend, and often father figure, passed away last week and today we said our farewells. As stories were told, I drifted back to a day many years ago and relived a story of my own.
Joe, Patti and Amy came into Outback one Sunday afternoon many, many years ago for dinner as they often did. Usually, they would sit and have dinner at the bar, but for some reason, this time, they sat in the dining room. I was off and just happened to be at the restaurant having a few beers, and a few more and some shots thrown in there too not an uncommon sight then). Anyway, I joined them for dinner and conversation ensued and it was going well. Now, for those of you who know Joe Okupski, there are not many things in this world that make him speechless. I am the bearer of one of those rare moments. His sons and I had been friends for a while and I just assumed that they had talked to him about me. Not true. So when I mentioned the fact that I was gay, I kept going with the conversation until I say his face. The look. The famous look. Wow!!
Now, I had been told stories of Joe by the boys, Chris and Ryan, and knew of his anger. I was afraid of what was going on in his mind. A few seconds passed and he stated, "I didn't know that". And that was the end of it.
Years went by, we grew closer and I often house sat and watched the dogs, Phoenix and Sedonna. More times than I cared for, he and Patti gave me shelter when I had none, was always there with a kind word and hearty laugh. He took me to Emerills in Miami once and I had duck. He thinks I don't remember, but I do. The Louis was great too but I don't remember much of the car ride home. We were friends. He never judged me. He knew my heart and my mind. I will miss him.
He would tell me later, that I changed the way he thought about homosexuals. And that he thought of me as a son. He came to my wedding in Key West and I could see the pride on his face when he saw how happy I was. I was happy he was there.
Several years later, I would see him only twice more: Once when I helped Amy move to Knoxville and again when Amy got married. The last time I saw him, I was afraid. My own father has been fighting Leukemia for about three years now and even though I knew Joe was sick, nothing could prepare me for what I saw when I got to the hotel. I didn't recognize him and all I could think of was my own father. All the fear of losing your parents flooded to my mind and it was paralyzing.
Joe walked Amy down the aisle and you could see the love and pride in his face. It was a great day. I'm glad he got to see that before he passed. Today I got say goodbye to a dear friend, but as I was taking a picture of the family, I got to see Joe one more time. He was present in the faces of his children and grandchildren. He filled the room with his strength, passion, dedication to family and friends and above all else, his love. He was a great story teller and now the stories will be told of him. What do you leave to your child when you're dead? Only whatever you put in their head.
So Joe, I can proudly say...Because I knew you, I've been changed forever.
Joe, Patti and Amy came into Outback one Sunday afternoon many, many years ago for dinner as they often did. Usually, they would sit and have dinner at the bar, but for some reason, this time, they sat in the dining room. I was off and just happened to be at the restaurant having a few beers, and a few more and some shots thrown in there too not an uncommon sight then). Anyway, I joined them for dinner and conversation ensued and it was going well. Now, for those of you who know Joe Okupski, there are not many things in this world that make him speechless. I am the bearer of one of those rare moments. His sons and I had been friends for a while and I just assumed that they had talked to him about me. Not true. So when I mentioned the fact that I was gay, I kept going with the conversation until I say his face. The look. The famous look. Wow!!
Now, I had been told stories of Joe by the boys, Chris and Ryan, and knew of his anger. I was afraid of what was going on in his mind. A few seconds passed and he stated, "I didn't know that". And that was the end of it.
Years went by, we grew closer and I often house sat and watched the dogs, Phoenix and Sedonna. More times than I cared for, he and Patti gave me shelter when I had none, was always there with a kind word and hearty laugh. He took me to Emerills in Miami once and I had duck. He thinks I don't remember, but I do. The Louis was great too but I don't remember much of the car ride home. We were friends. He never judged me. He knew my heart and my mind. I will miss him.
He would tell me later, that I changed the way he thought about homosexuals. And that he thought of me as a son. He came to my wedding in Key West and I could see the pride on his face when he saw how happy I was. I was happy he was there.
Several years later, I would see him only twice more: Once when I helped Amy move to Knoxville and again when Amy got married. The last time I saw him, I was afraid. My own father has been fighting Leukemia for about three years now and even though I knew Joe was sick, nothing could prepare me for what I saw when I got to the hotel. I didn't recognize him and all I could think of was my own father. All the fear of losing your parents flooded to my mind and it was paralyzing.
Joe walked Amy down the aisle and you could see the love and pride in his face. It was a great day. I'm glad he got to see that before he passed. Today I got say goodbye to a dear friend, but as I was taking a picture of the family, I got to see Joe one more time. He was present in the faces of his children and grandchildren. He filled the room with his strength, passion, dedication to family and friends and above all else, his love. He was a great story teller and now the stories will be told of him. What do you leave to your child when you're dead? Only whatever you put in their head.
So Joe, I can proudly say...Because I knew you, I've been changed forever.
Friday, April 19, 2013
Time Off
Hello Everybody,
I know it's been a while. Sorry about that. Life gets busy and as we all know, there are times we have to put some things on the side lines while we take care of the things that need more attention. With me, its been work. Now, let me restate something I've said in my blogs a few times: Nothing I say here is intended to hurt anyone. These are just my thoughts and my way of expressing how I feel. Do not take them personal.
Work has been the #1 thing in my life for a few months now (well, a little over a year). I've been working two jobs to make sure we maintain our lifestyle and to keep us afloat. The longer I keep working these hours, the more tired I get and when the choice comes down to writing a blog or getting a little extra sleep, I choose the sleep. Trust me, I'd rather be reading a book on the beach than working at the deli or outback. I'll trade places anytime. But that isn't my reality at the moment. I'm starting summer school in a few weeks. I've only got four pre-req classes left before I can apply to Nursing school and I want to get them done. I can't wait to start my clinicals and working with the patients.
The other day I get an e-mail from my Anatomy and Physiology teacher sent to all the students telling us that it has been his experience that students that take this course over the summer and work more than 20 hours a week tend to fall behind and end up failing or not doing very well. I work anywhere from 60 to 70 hours a week so this is going to be fun. I'm not really worried about it though. I know that I can do the work. My best half tells me all the time I'm the smartest dumb person he's ever known. Lol. The course work isn't going to be the hard part. I know that as long as I attend the lecture and do the in-class assignments, my retention is incredible and the book work comes easily. Now, staying awake in class might be a problem, but Monster makes a no-carb energy drink that I'll be buying by the case.
Plus, and this is the part I love, Chad has already said that he'd work some of my shifts at the deli so I don't have to stress myself out. I love this. He knows how important this is to me and, as I did for him, he's willing to make sacrifices so that I can attain the goals I set for myself. I love him for this (And a bunch of other things too). And that's what relationships are for. Making sacrifices for each other, doing things even when we don't want to, and supporting each other through the good times and the bad while forgiving the little things that really piss you off. Doing all these things now, so you can reap the rewards together later and have the life you always dreamed.
Now, I know it sounds like a lot. And it is. But it'll pay off in the long run. We're saving money for our house. We never go hungry or without the essentials. We both want nice things and vacations, but those will come in time. I truly believe that Chad will have the clientele and business that will let him have the lifestyle for us that he wants, while I work in a hospital and look forward to my retirement in 25 years (YIKES...I keep forgetting I'm almost 50) okay, 20 years to retirement. But until then, we keep on plugging away. We are fortunate to have his family close by to keep us grounded and while my family is a little further away, they are there to make us smile and are only a phone call away. So on May 8th, when classes start, I'll keep all this in mind while I look forward to August, the end of summer school, and some time off.
I know it's been a while. Sorry about that. Life gets busy and as we all know, there are times we have to put some things on the side lines while we take care of the things that need more attention. With me, its been work. Now, let me restate something I've said in my blogs a few times: Nothing I say here is intended to hurt anyone. These are just my thoughts and my way of expressing how I feel. Do not take them personal.
Work has been the #1 thing in my life for a few months now (well, a little over a year). I've been working two jobs to make sure we maintain our lifestyle and to keep us afloat. The longer I keep working these hours, the more tired I get and when the choice comes down to writing a blog or getting a little extra sleep, I choose the sleep. Trust me, I'd rather be reading a book on the beach than working at the deli or outback. I'll trade places anytime. But that isn't my reality at the moment. I'm starting summer school in a few weeks. I've only got four pre-req classes left before I can apply to Nursing school and I want to get them done. I can't wait to start my clinicals and working with the patients.
The other day I get an e-mail from my Anatomy and Physiology teacher sent to all the students telling us that it has been his experience that students that take this course over the summer and work more than 20 hours a week tend to fall behind and end up failing or not doing very well. I work anywhere from 60 to 70 hours a week so this is going to be fun. I'm not really worried about it though. I know that I can do the work. My best half tells me all the time I'm the smartest dumb person he's ever known. Lol. The course work isn't going to be the hard part. I know that as long as I attend the lecture and do the in-class assignments, my retention is incredible and the book work comes easily. Now, staying awake in class might be a problem, but Monster makes a no-carb energy drink that I'll be buying by the case.
Plus, and this is the part I love, Chad has already said that he'd work some of my shifts at the deli so I don't have to stress myself out. I love this. He knows how important this is to me and, as I did for him, he's willing to make sacrifices so that I can attain the goals I set for myself. I love him for this (And a bunch of other things too). And that's what relationships are for. Making sacrifices for each other, doing things even when we don't want to, and supporting each other through the good times and the bad while forgiving the little things that really piss you off. Doing all these things now, so you can reap the rewards together later and have the life you always dreamed.
Now, I know it sounds like a lot. And it is. But it'll pay off in the long run. We're saving money for our house. We never go hungry or without the essentials. We both want nice things and vacations, but those will come in time. I truly believe that Chad will have the clientele and business that will let him have the lifestyle for us that he wants, while I work in a hospital and look forward to my retirement in 25 years (YIKES...I keep forgetting I'm almost 50) okay, 20 years to retirement. But until then, we keep on plugging away. We are fortunate to have his family close by to keep us grounded and while my family is a little further away, they are there to make us smile and are only a phone call away. So on May 8th, when classes start, I'll keep all this in mind while I look forward to August, the end of summer school, and some time off.
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