No one ever knows the journey life will send you on. There are so many cliches in regards to said reference that one could probably make a game of it. "God works in mysterious ways", "Life is like a box of chocolates...", and so many others. I took the title of this post from a book by my favorite author, Nicholas Sparks. He writes all the tearjerker novels like "The Notebook", "A Walk to Remember", "Dear John", and so on. As most of you know, I somewhat live in a fantasy world. I want the love story, the romance, the knight in shinning armor....the new found love of your life running through the airport begging you not to go.
Well, why do I write this you ask?! I'm sitting in the airport in Lexington, Ky. where I just recently moved, awaiting my flight that will put me in Orlando where I will catch my connector flight to Dublin, Ireland wherein I will spend the next ten days. I've been planning this trip for about six months and I can't wait.
I wanted to take this trip because I was angry and decided that traveling would help me to get rid of the pain and become a starting over point in my life. After my dad died and my relationship ended, I had this strength and focus I didn't know I had. I've made grown up decisions, putting my best foot forward and started acting like an adult. I never wanted to grow up. I always thought that I could ride the curtails of irresponsibility and still be ok. Well, you can't. There comes a time in your life when you have to let go of the fairy tale. This doesn't mean that you can't revisit sometimes or turn it into a passion that can become fruitfull in the end. Just as long as you don't lose sight of the reality of it all.
Don't get me wrong. There will always be a little Peter Pan inside me. Looking for his shadow and following the second star to the right.
This trip is for my father. I have searched to find his pride in me. To be accepted by him. As an adult I knew I had it all along. As a child, it was something I could never attain. I feel him with at all times. Guiding me along a path we can both be proud of even when it isn't the path I would have chosen. I miss him so much. When we were children, I always complained because my turn on the back of the motorcycle wasn't as long as my brothers or sisters. Now I have him all to myself. I'm taking a trip with my dad.
This trip is also for me. A chance to let go of the hurt and pain. To find a new way to start this new chapter in my life and to put aside all the things that are holding me back. I'm not afraid anymore. I am full of life and questions and wonder. I want it all. And only I can hold myself back.
So don't be afraid of life. Don't let the unexplored become a crutch for your life. Use it. The way I see it, it's just a bend in the road.
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