Life in Music

Music has always been a great part of my life.  I'm sure we can all say that when we hear a certain song it brings back memories.  Whether it be high school, and old boy/girl-friend or even a family memory, they are there.  I tend to think it a little different with me. 

I used to take certain lines from songs and make it my mantra for a time.  Like, when I was, gosh, 11 or so, there was a song "Don't Cry Out Loud".  Part of the lyrics went "Don't cry out loud, just keep it inside, and learn how to hide your feelings.  Fly high and proud, and if you should fall, remember you almost had it all".  I kept this with me all through high school.  And basically shut myself down to everyone.  I didn't know how to deal with the feelings that were brewing inside me so I kept them all inside.  It kept me from having a lot of friends and being afraid to show my true self.

But enough of that.  What I want to get out today, is that to often, especially in todays youth, it isn't the words that people find important, its the rythem and the beat.  I still think that songs that have meaningful words are the most important ones.  I'm not saying we don't need Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" (it's nice to dance to) but a song that makes you think and feel; that you can relate part of your life to, is one you can hold on to forever.

Here is a little of the lyrics from a song called "What Faith Can Do" by Kutless.  I wanted to use this song at the wedding but we just didn't get it in.  If you like the lyrics, look it up on Youtube and listen to the complete song.

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it's more than you can take
But you're stronger, stronger than you know
Don't you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do.

To me this is beautiful and relates to the last few years of my life.  It also gives me inspiration to want to carry on and do more.  Be better. But we all have times in our lives when, even when we seem to have it all together, we still find our faith a little shaken.  And we start to wonder if the decisions we've made are correct.  We know that if we just hold on, our faith will get us through and that the road we've chosen, whether right or wrong, will become clearer to us.  The question remains, "How long does it take?"  And then, it seems, that before we've had time to let our faith strengthen once again, something happens to shake it even more.  So, we've had our doubts, they're starting to go away, and you get slammed again.  More doubt.  It's like a high interest loan.  You just keep getting hit with those interst rates.  When will it stop and where do you find a port in the storm?

I turn to music again.  This one is one of my favorites (Chad hates it). "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus.

I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming but
There's a voice inside my head sayin,
You'll never reach it,
Every step I'm taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep myhead held high

There's always going to be a nother mountain
I'm alwaysgoing to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose.
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Aint' about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb.

We all have our ways of dealing with pressure and life's little insecurities.  The inspiration can be found in many ways. At one point I gave up looking and was ready to let it all go, but now I have a reason to fight and a reason to climb.  My faith is strong, but it falters every now and then.  Within this faith I can find the will to either continue down one path, or choose another. 

I apologize if this post isn't up to my normal standards.  You see, I'm having some doubts and feel a little lost and alone.  I'm looking for some answers and I know they're out there, but I believe my faith is being tested.  I just keep getting hit with one after the other and I need it to stop.  I feel like I'm losing part of myself lately, and after fighting to get my life back on track, I just feel empty.  I need a reboot.

All my love.