I say things never turn out the way we thought they would because life always takes us where we need to go. I'm a firm believer that God has a plan for us and that all will be revealed in His time. I also believe that people are brought into our lives for a reason. And when we have learned all we can from them, then it is time to continue moving forward. What does need to happen from this time together is that both people grow and take with them all that they've learned in order to be better than they were before. I'm proud to say I've had that experience and that because of you, I have changed for good. Don't get me wrong, anyone that knows me will tell you I'm a hopeless romantic. Hell, I just watched "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas" just to get to the part at the end when Dolly sings "I Will Always Love You" and Burt swoops in, carries her to the truck and drives off in the sunset. Maybe I have my hopes set to high, but I believe that there are people out there that believe as I do and we can all get our happy ending; our knight in shining armour; true loves kiss (the most powerful thing in the world, btw).
In October my dad passed. While I am still mourning his loss, it seems that I am charged with putting something else to rest too. In November of the same year, I ended my five year relationship with my partner. It's been tough dealing with both and since I've had to focus most of my attention on what is right in front of me, five months later I believe we have said our last goodbyes. What I don't understand is why it hurts more now, than it did then. I guess I left a little door open in my heart thinking there was a chance he was my prince on a horse. Guess not. I gave it my best shot. Now it's time to focus on me. I've got to deal with the loss of my father, finish my last semester of school, and try to make a home for me and my new puppy - Keeper. I have always had the philosophy that we should treat people the way we would like to be treated. I'm not saying I've held to it the way I should have, but it's something I've gotten back to and I'm trying my best to uphold even when it isn't in my best interest.
In May I celebrate my five years of sobriety (hence my trip to Ireland) and by the end of the year I'll have my AA and will have applied for the nursing program. I know it's a little later than I wanted but, like I said, life never turns out the way we thought it would. But I hold these thrings to be true: I am much stronger than I ever thought I was; I am capable of so much more than I ever imagined; and that which does not kill me, can only make me stronger.
